A Spa-tacular Day

I’ve never had the experience of a “spa day.” They seemed too precious for a proud-to-dig-in-the-dirt woman like me. But as I entered the second hour of the strong-handed Deter massaging away my aches and pains, one phrase floated across my mind: “Oh my Osmosis.”

Last Christmas, Clay gave me a gift certificate for the Ultimate Experience package at Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary in Freestone. I loved the thought; I held back a snicker at the package’s name. He also gave a gift certificate to my best friend who is, happily, also my sister-in-law. Clay knew I’d enjoy the experience more if I had someone to snicker with.

The day started with a quick trip to Wild Flour Bread where we got to try the much-lauded Meyer lemon scones. They deserve all the acclaim. Prepped with carbohydrate courage, we headed to Osmosis with no idea what to expect. Unfortunately for everyone else there, our first reaction was uncontrolled laughter.

If you’ve never worn a Japanese robe, then the big opening under the long sleeves would confuse you, too. I put my arm through the opening instead of the sleeve, and then I couldn’t figure out what all the extra material was for. Once we got that straightened out, with lots of restrained giggling, I cautiously asked the very attentive attendant whether we would go underwater at any point in the cedar enzyme bath. I was thinking about my hair. Very kindly, she explained that it wasn’t really a bath but an immersion in a blend of ground cedar and herbs with heat coming from the fermentation of the mixture. Basically…compost.

By this time we had a serious case of the snorts. Not just snickering but hand-over-the-mouth, stomach-aching, tear-wiping laughter. The kind when you struggle to catch a breath before someone says something else funny. I haven’t laughed like that in ages.

Our laughter was soon replaced with sighs as our bodies relaxed, first in the enveloping warmth of the cedar enzyme bath and then with an amazing 75-minute massage and an aromatherapy facial. We were spoiled beyond belief.

Thank you, lovely Osmosis, for providing the perfect “bath” for this dig-in-dirt woman. You were endlessly patient with us giggling neophytes. We promise to never snicker again.